It’s been quite the summer. On July 12th CJ tried to hang himself. I’m not really sure if he did so to die or to be put back into the hospital. We usually get him intense therapy over a hospital stay and he must have really wanted to be put back into the hospital. We found the huge nasty marks on his neck and I spent the entire day in the ER and then following the ambulance to Willoughby OH to Laurelwood and then signing a bunch of papers and getting him settled. I didn’t make it back home until 9pm. They say he is coming home tomorrow and I hope to get him right into therapy on Thursday morning.

Ever since he got back from camp things have been tough for him. 2 of his friends have been telling him they are going to kill themselves and one time he was worried about one and went to their house and they wouldn’t let him in and they claimed to have a knife and were going to hurt themselves. He told his psychiatrist and I spoke with her and she said we had to tell the parents. I knew one of them so I told her dad and CJ’s worst fear came true as she told CJ she was NEVER going to be his friend again and that she hated him and on and on. He just can’t take all this and I found all this out on Tuesday morning right after we found out that his therapist was out sick and couldn’t see CJ.

Sometimes the stress of trying to keep CJ safe is just too much. I just had a conversation with Chuck about how I hope once he is out of school and in his twenties that he will be much better. Those three years sound like a million right now.

CJ had a panic attack on Saturday and he hyperventilated himself unconscious so he had to be taken to the ER. He was awake and talking when they took him in so he wasn’t out long but because he lost consciousness he had to be looked at. They gave him a shot of ativan and that helped. Then I got a call on Sunday that he had another panic attack, not as bad, and was given some more ativan and that helped again. Then I got a call later that night saying that they asked CJ what would really make him feel better and he said, “Playing the piano”. They had one and 2 staff members took him to it and he played for 30 minutes and came back a VERY much improved CJ. So, they asked me to bring up his keyboard the next day so he could play it whenever he wanted.

So, yesterday I made the 1 hour long drive with his keyboard just to have them tell me he COULDN’T have it because they didn’t realize it was 4 feet tall!?!?! WHAT!?!? What did they think it was a tiny toy keyboard?!?! CJ was very upset that they said he could have it and then that he couldn’t! He as happy that I had lunch with him and that I brought his books up and he could have those. So, I drove back home with the keyboard and put it all away. Very frustrating!

The doctor at the hospital changed his medication and I am hoping this new one will be better for him. I was on the one he’s on now and I was much worse so changed to the one he just got changed too and did so much better so I am hoping he will also do much better. The two medications that are approved for kids just didn’t work well, this new one is not approved for kids but since the first two did NOT work the insurance will pay for the non-approved medication.

I just got off the phone with CJ’s therapist and found out that she may be going into the hospital today and won’t be able to see CJ on Thursday. She has an infection on her face that may be staff AND she is taking the next 2 weeks off for vacation! I totally forgot about that!!! So, there is a male therapist there that used to do groups but is now doing individual counseling so he has a lot of openings. I told her I want him in twice a week while she is gone.

She said when she gets back that she wants me to come to some sessions because CJ actually opens up more when I am there. How odd! I didn’t know that, so I may sit in on some with the new guy too and get CJ to talk more. He’s such a clam but I wish he was more a ham, LOL!

Well, the night I got home from taking CJ to the hospital, Baby Peter found a kitten outside. Baby Peter LOVES being outside, and I went out around 11pm to get him to bring him in for the night when I heard this insistent crying and found a little starved black kitten circling Baby Peter. I picked it right up and it started purring and crying and I could feel EVERY bone in it’s tiny body! Someone had dumped it because it LOVED people and if it was from around here someone would have been feeding it!

So, I brought it in JUST to feed it and put some flea stuff on her but Joe saw her and went NUTS and named her Midnight and said that she was HIS new kitty! Oh wonderful, we have another cat!!!

Here is Joe with the Kitten when we first found her. You can tell he is VERY tired, LOL!!


Here she is sleeping on Joe.


So, I bought a toy and some kitten food and we are trying to fatten her up. I will make an appointment with the vet and see how old she is and if she is healthy. She seems very healthy, no sneezing, no eye grossies, etc.